Since I’m wide awake and just scanning some memorabilia, I might as well write because as expected, I haven’t been faithful in keeping this blog updated as much as I would like to. But I guess it’s a good thing, me being busy, instead of idle right. Anyway, the last month is indescribable and will definitely come down in history. Two typhoons devastating the northern part of the country in a matter of two weeks. Typhoon Ondoy came here September 26th and affected several areas in the metro while Super Typhoon Pepeng came a week after, hitting the northernmost provinces like Cagayan et cetera. The typhoons damaged a lot of properties and also took hundreds of lives. Sad, heartbreaking stories are everywhere. But with these also came happy, heartwarming stories of heroism, compassion, and generosity. LOVE. It was all over. In the media coverages, in the relief operations that I have volunteered to, in the snippets of conversations that I overhear, in the emails and various internet posts, and even the jokes that are being made about it…everything was edifying. And everything just reassured me that the Filipinos will definitely survive. Anyway, if given the chance (= time), this typhoon experience deserves a separate post…
My 25th birthday also passed by very quickly. Hadn’t it been for my family and friends, I wouldn’t have liked to”celebrate” and what better excuse not to celebrate than the calamity. But there, we were still able to celebrate a bit, because it was also Timi’s despedida and advance birthday celebration. Once again, the Superfriends are complete. Happiness.
This week, it’s back to classes and back to work. I have this dilemma with students…I feel so sorry for them because of their heavy workload. And part of me feels guilty because I’m somehow adding to that. It was so easy for me to emphatize with them maybe because the same feelings are still fresh within me. But I also know that I can’t always make things easy for them because that won’t be teaching them about life in the long run. And I can’t always solve their problems. I just hope that I can ease some of their stresses and anxieties. I don’t want to be a teacher who is always dreaded but I also don’t want to be a teacher who will be taken for granted because I always make things easy. Hmm…so what kind would I like to be? I think just the right kind of strict and just the right kind of compassion. I think now…I’m veering more towards the latter, which isn’t always good, right? Haaay.
So anyway, today is Shels’ 40th. I really don’t know what happens on the 40th. I guess I’d just be praying more than the usual. Isn’t it that the 40th is supposedly the day when the soul finally goes to Heaven or somewhere? If I remember right, it also took Jesus 40 days before finally ascending to Heaven. so maybe…that is where it came from. Anyway, its the 40th and there’s a mass at Pisay later 430pm. Our missing Shels is a painful reality that we just have to feel as we move on with our lives, but her joy in Heaven is also just as real, so I would just hold on to that fact. My being sad is okay but it’s also being selfish in a way because I’m only being sad for myself. Medyo magulo pero ganun. I just missed her so much. But I’ll just take her own advice when last year, my pet-friend Burger, died in an accident. Oh and it’s only now that I remember, Burger died April 01, 2008–Shels’ birthday!
when Burger died...
I was just relating to Shels that I didn’t want to forget Burger but remembering him and our good and bad times together is just so difficult. She told me that I didn’t have to forget about him, that what happened was like a surgical operation–slowly heals on the outside, but there will always be a scar.
Hay. I’d have to end. And force sleepiness by re-reading our favorite book. I miss you so much, my bestfriend.
After all, God our Father would surely know what’s best for us, right?
